If I were not upon this stage...

[Chris Revitt]

Does anyone know of any sites on the web , or simply happen to know of the
top of your head where I might be able to get the words / actions for extra
verses / action to 'If I was not upon this stage...'.

I've got the 6-person version with policeman, builder, waitress, etc., but
I've seen it done with an undertaker and footballer, etc. We're after
around 12 'roles' for a 65th Anniversary Gang-show at our group's reunion
night - we fancy a challenge and a laugh!

Many thanks in advance to all that can help!

YiS,

Chris Revitt
(Group Fellowship, 2nd Walsall)
***@btinternet.com

[Tony Mochan]

On Thu, 21 Aug 2003 23:16:34 +0000 (UTC), Chris Revitt

Post by Chris Revitt
Does anyone know of any sites on the web , or simply happen to know of the
top of your head where I might be able to get the words / actions for extra
verses / action to 'If I was not upon this stage...'.
I've got the 6-person version with policeman, builder, waitress, etc., but
I've seen it done with an undertaker and footballer, etc. We're after
around 12 'roles' for a 65th Anniversary Gang-show at our group's reunion
night - we fancy a challenge and a laugh!
Many thanks in advance to all that can help!
YiS,
Chris Revitt
(Group Fellowship, 2nd Walsall)

Web search produces ...

If I was not upon this stage, I guess I rather be..
If I was not upon this stage:

A policeman I would be: Hey you, get off my street(x2)
A gymteacher I would be: Up, down, up, down, down up(x2)
A painter I would be: Take the brush, dip in paint, and slam it on the
wall(x2)
A carpenter I would be: Two feet, by four feet, and knock it on the
wall.(x2)
A milkmaid I would be: Come on betsy give, the baby's got to live(2x)
A stewardess I would be: Here's your coffe, here's your tea, here's your
bag:blah!(2x)
A gardner I would be: take the spade, turn the soil, and watch the flowers
grow(2x)
A conductor I would be: one, two, three, four, woops, I lost my stick(2x)

HTH

[Moz]

Post by Tony Mochan
On Thu, 21 Aug 2003 23:16:34 +0000 (UTC), Chris Revitt

Post by Chris Revitt
Does anyone know of any sites on the web , or simply happen to know of the
top of your head where I might be able to get the words / actions for extra
verses / action to 'If I was not upon this stage...'.
I've got the 6-person version with policeman, builder, waitress, etc., but
I've seen it done with an undertaker and footballer, etc. We're after
around 12 'roles' for a 65th Anniversary Gang-show at our group's reunion
night - we fancy a challenge and a laugh!
Many thanks in advance to all that can help!
YiS,
Chris Revitt
(Group Fellowship, 2nd Walsall)

Web search produces ...
If I was not upon this stage, I guess I rather be..
A policeman I would be: Hey you, get off my street(x2)
A gymteacher I would be: Up, down, up, down, down up(x2)
A painter I would be: Take the brush, dip in paint, and slam it on the
wall(x2)
A carpenter I would be: Two feet, by four feet, and knock it on the
wall.(x2)
A milkmaid I would be: Come on betsy give, the baby's got to live(2x)

Ahhhh! So that's what it was!!! We had this one at Kandersteg too, but
never knew exactly what she was saying!

btw in Kandersteg it was "If I was not in Kandersteg, somewhere else
I'd rather be, If I was not in Kandersteg, a ........ I would be!
You'd hear me all day long, singing out my song...."

Post by Tony Mochan
A stewardess I would be: Here's your coffe, here's your tea, here's your
bag:blah!(2x)
A gardner I would be: take the spade, turn the soil, and watch the flowers
grow(2x)
A conductor I would be: one, two, three, four, woops, I lost my stick(2x)
HTH

[m***@gmail.com]

Hi.. this is really usefulike. . Thank you.

[Steve Hinchliff]

Try here

http://www.ccia.com/~cubscts4/498skits.html

Post by Chris Revitt
Does anyone know of any sites on the web , or simply happen to know of the
top of your head where I might be able to get the words / actions for extra
verses / action to 'If I was not upon this stage...'.
I've got the 6-person version with policeman, builder, waitress, etc., but
I've seen it done with an undertaker and footballer, etc. We're after
around 12 'roles' for a 65th Anniversary Gang-show at our group's reunion
night - we fancy a challenge and a laugh!
Many thanks in advance to all that can help!
YiS,
Chris Revitt
(Group Fellowship, 2nd Walsall)

[Nick Fordyce]

Just come back from Kandersteg and this was the opening number done by the
'pinkies' and was brilliant.
We had: policeman, painter (water from brush),builder, gymnast, farmer,
stewardess, composer and statue to finish off. Everyone got some water
especially those near the front.

Nick

Post by Chris Revitt
Does anyone know of any sites on the web , or simply happen to know of the
top of your head where I might be able to get the words / actions for extra
verses / action to 'If I was not upon this stage...'.
I've got the 6-person version with policeman, builder, waitress, etc., but
I've seen it done with an undertaker and footballer, etc. We're after
around 12 'roles' for a 65th Anniversary Gang-show at our group's reunion
night - we fancy a challenge and a laugh!
Many thanks in advance to all that can help!
YiS,
Chris Revitt
(Group Fellowship, 2nd Walsall)

The best rendition of this I've ever seen was when we went to
Kandersteg in 1999. It was absolutely fantastic - some of us still
sing it now, and burst out laughing!
It wasn't like the usual one with spades, hammers etc flying around
just missing heads, it was just very very very funny!
Some of the memorable lines...
"A stewardess I would be" (big burly bloke with a beard wearing a
dress and singing in a high pitched voice!)"...coffee, tea, oh deary
me!" (as he sang he had two jugs of water which he threw over the
first couple of rows!!)
"A robber I would be" (done by an American dressed with swag bag,
stripey top, mask & gun) "...shoot the gun, take the money & run!"
"A statue I would be" - this was the funniest, after singing the first
line, the person took the pose of a statue and didn't move for the
rest of the song. They were the second to last. After everyone else
had finished and left the stage, they left the statue there, still not
moving, a pause, then they ran back on and carried her off as she
remained seemingly made from stone. Fantastic!
There was also a boxer & a fireman. Halfway through (after they'd done
their bit a couple of times) the fireman starts squirting the boxer
with his hose (super-soaker). When he's done this for two more verses,
the boxer kicks off and a mock fight starts before calming down for
the statue bit.
I've got it on video tape and one day I'll transfer it into an MPEG
and put it on the web.
Moz

[m***@hotmail.co.uk]

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[miken man]

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